Football! This weekend! No, really.

The Bundesliga and Ligue 1 open play this weekend, and so this will be the first weekend of the season with a meaningful number of games in leagues that don't suck. So, you know what that means! Oh, wait, you don't know that means. Well, anyway, here are some games from the next three days that ought to be pretty interesting. Possibly.

Friday, August 7

Wolfsburg v Stuttgart Two of the teams involved in last season's quite epic race for the title, which Wolfsburg ultimately won. Both teams have undergone considerable changes over the break, with Wolfsburg manager Felix Magath leaving for Schalke. His replacement? Armin Veh, whose last manager job was at...wait for it...Stuttgart. Ooh.

Both teams have made significant additions on the field, with Karim Ziani and Obafemi Martins (among others) joining Wolfsburg, while the arrivals of Pavel Pogrebnyak and Alexander Hleb have given Stuttgart a very happy ending (in the least sexual of ways. probably.) to their mercato. Basically, these are two sides that have added to what were already very good sides, and they should make the first match of this Bundesliga season a good one.

Saturday, August 8


Inter v Lazio Alright, this doesn't really count, but...it will be interesting to see how all those new signings work for Inter, right? I mean, it would be, if it weren't at 7AM here. It may be interesting for anyone in a different time zone, or incredible powers of...waking up. I guess.

Hoffenheim v Bayern Come on. Hoffenheim, who did so well in the first half of their first Bundesliga season against...motherfucking Bayern. Hoffenheim have made some nice additions, such as Franco Zucalini, and they'll have star player Vedad Ibisevic as he returns from the injury that really killed them during the second half of the season. Bayern? Well, they've had a few changes. This match really ought to be pretty fucking good. No, seriously.

WBA v Newcastle Alright, so it's a second division match. But, fucking hell, it's a really intriguing one. Who knows what's going to happen? Newcastle have been awful during preseason, but their squad is still relatively impressive, even after some recent sales. If nothing else, this is watchable for the train wreck possibilities.


Grenoble v Marseille An admission: I'm a Marseille fan. But that's not why I'm bringing this match up. Well, it probably at least sort of is, but it's not the only reason. We...er, they've made some big additions (and sales) this summer, as the philosophy of Didier Deschamps has proven completely different than that of ex-manager Eric Gerets. Stephane Mbia, Lucho Gonzales, Fernando Morientes...wait, none of those people are likely to play in this match. Oh. Well, Fabrice Abriel and Souley Diawara, then. Fuck it, I'm leaving this here. It will still be interesting how this one turns out, for the side many are tipping as Ligue 1 favorites (in a sure bid to jinx the whole goddamn thing). Lyon play, too. But fuck them. Alright, I shouldn't say that. Their match could be interesting too. If you worship Satan. But moving on.


New England v Los Angeles Alright, I'll probably regret suggesting that people watch an MLS match, but this one has potential. Landon Donovan, in his last match before the biggest match in the history of the universe (which we'll touch on closer to Wednesday), David Beckham...David Beckhaming. And those pesky Revolution, who are somehow in the playoff hunt. A-fucking-gain. Christ. Anyway, both these teams will be fighting for their playoff spot in the packed-as-always MLS. And neither team is the New York Red Bulls. And, after watching their CCL debacle last night, that's all I'm really asking of from this match. That it not involve the New York Red Bulls.

Sunday, August 9

Twente v PSV Two of the top Eredivisie sides in a pretty tasty early season match. PSV's season got off to an awful start when they drew lowly VVVVVVVVVVVVVV (er, VVV Venlo) 3-3 at home, and Twente recently lost their hopes of advancing in the Champions League on a last-gasp own goal. So, both sides will be looking to get back on their feet.

Bordeaux v Lens Lens' first match on their return to the top flight. The first match for Bordeaux since...something. I think they won some sort of competition, but the details are hazy.


Flamengo v Corinthians Ronaldo visits the Maracana to find the fans of the club he spurned....oh. Ronaldo's hurt, andnot playing. Well, then we'll just have to settle for the clash of Brazil's two most popular teams. Fair enough. They'll both be looking to bounce back from midweek losses as they try and fight back to the top of the table.